It has been 20 days. 20 days since you said “I really like you” and I said, “I really like you too.” Some of the newness has worn off, but the feeling that this may be forever hasn’t.
I am surprised by the things that I forget when I am with you. Recently, I have forgotten that you are one of my best friends who I can tell anything to. I forget that I love talking with you and sharing with you what is going on inside my heart. I am sorry that I don’t give you information as readily as I should. I never thought communication would be hard for me but it is.
I learned that today when you asked me what drinks I wanted at my birthday. I knew right away what I wanted, but debated in my head whether or not to tell you. I didn’t know if I should tell you because I didn’t want to inconvenience you at all. I ended up telling you exactly what I wanted and it hit me, I don’t have to do life all by myself anymore.
For so long if I wanted something I had to figure out how to do it. Now, I have someone who wants to do nice things for me. I am slowly figuring out that I don’t have to do everything on my own. It is freeing and scary at the same time. I know it will take me awhile to figure out that you want to do both normal and nice things for me.
I appreciate your kindness as I rebuild my worldview. Having one person care for me like you do will take some time to get used to.
It has been 20 days. We have seen each other for each of those 20 days and honestly I don’t know how I am going to go for one day not seeing you. I am glad that I don’t have to find out for 18 more days.