I started worrying again, letting my mind wander…”what if we don’t get a placement for a long time?” “What if there are no baby boys that need foster homes in our area?” “What if the baby is addicted to drugs, can I handle it?” “Am I even strong enough to do this?”
The refrain was familiar. I have thought it for months since we decided to do foster care and started taking classes.
Foster care is all about taking the “I” out of my planning for how my life is going to be. “I want to get a baby who is just born” “I want to be able to adopt a foster child.” “I want a normal life.” “I want our family to be complete sooner rather than later.” Instead, I have to hand over the controls. I have to constantly submit my will over to God’s will, and trust him in that.
As I started worrying again, my thoughts were graciously changed by the Holy Spirit. I was overcome by peace with him reminding me that God knows what I can handle, he knows what my family can handle. God is writing this story. It is my job to trust Him, rely on Him and call out to Him for help over and over.
He knows when I will get “the call” that a child needs a temporary home. He knows if that child will be reunified, have family adopt them, or possibly have us adopt them. He knows if the child will have suffered neglect or drug addictions. He knows it all. That thought is what brings peace in the unknown. He knows. He knows every detail of what we will be going through. He can lead and guide us in that. He will give us more than we can handle because He wants us to rely on Him.
God has got this whole foster care thing under his control. He knows us, he knows what we need and we don’t have to be afraid of the future and all that it may bring because God will be caring for us and calling us to love this little ones for a long time into the future whether or not they end up being part of our forever family.
God is writing this story, and I can almost guarantee that living this story will cause us our highest highs and lowest lows, yet it is exactly what He is doing to call us closer to His heart and to love the modern day orphan in our area.