Dear Four,

Yesterday I got curious around 2:00pm. I was a day late and although I usually wait a couple of days being late before testing (after many many negatives) I went in and took a pregnancy test.  I honestly wasn’t expecting the same as tests I have taken over the last year, so I took the test and then got involved with my phone.  I looked up briefly a couple minutes later and there were two lines.  IT WAS POSITIVE! The adrenaline hit me right away.  I dug through the cabinet for another test.  Almost immediately, it turned positive.  I AM PREGNANT.  I didn’t know what to do or how to tell your dad.  At that moment, he knocked asking to use the bathroom.  I opened the door, with the tests on the counter and said sure.  He saw the tests right away.  The answer was super clear and bold, unlike my last two sets of positive pregnancy tests. He was shocked, just how I felt.  

We hugged, we laughed, we prayed and we cried a little bit. I was growing you.  We are so excited and scared at the same time.  We have lost two babies before you and now have to wait to see if God grows you in my womb.  Oh Four, I hope that he does.  I hope that God grows you into a person who we get to meet here on this earth in 8ish months. I am praying for that and asking God for that.  

I want you to know that even in the fear, we celebrated.  We laughed and cried and were in awe that God opened my womb again.  We hugged a lot, whispered about our new little secret, and looked at each other with awe. 

After your brother went to bed, we each poured ourselves a bowl of Lucky Charms and celebrated you, the new life inside of me. We love you already, even at the size of a poppyseed. =)

Love, Mommy and Daddy

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