Sadness. It is something that most people try to run from. It is something that has become my friend over the past three years. I have labeled this time in my life as a time of sadness. Now the Lord has called my husband and I to foster babies.
Let me tell you, I am so fearful of this calling. I wonder if I can be strong enough or if I can hold it together. I think of a child whom I have loved reunifying with their parent or parents and I know that it is the way that it is supposed to be, but it terrifies me. I have seen my friends do it. Multiple times. I understand the loss and the grief experienced. However, I worry that the loss will remind me of the two losses that I have experienced through miscarriage. I worry that I won’t be able to keep myself together and still parent my son after a baby gets reunified. I worry that I will be so broken that I can’t be fixed after a baby leaves our home.
You hear preachers telling people that as a believer, you shouldn’t experience pain or hardship. That you shouldn’t have financial struggles and should be blessed abundantly. I don’t see this in scripture. I see that those people who are firmly devoted to the Lord experience pain and trouble and many times death because they have chosen to follow the Lord.
God isn’t calling us to be comfortable in our lives. He certainly is calling believers to be faithful to Him. In that faithfulness, believers should be called to uncomfortable places.
For us, that place is destined to bring sadness. Any child that we have in our home will be coming to us because of some sort of trauma. In their short life, they have experienced something so sad that it caused them to be removed from their parents. They have already lost something that so many of us take for granted, a family.
So, we are stepping into their sadness, which may also bring us into sadness, because we firmly believe that God is there in the sadness, that He mourns over the trauma this child has experienced. We also believe that in the sadness, God will bring joy. He will allow us to see a person grow and learn and change in a way that would be impossible otherwise. He will allow us to whisper to these children how incredibly loved they are by an infinite God who they can call Daddy.
Our God is a redeemer. He will redeem these situations and our part is to love on these special kids for as long as He wills us to. We need to be okay in the sadness, knowing that within sadness there can also be joy.